A man was walking by his son's bedroom one afternoon, when he had to stop and do a double-take: everything was picked up and set in place even the bed was neatly made. Then, he saw an envelope propped up prominently in the middle of the bed - it was addressed: Dad.
With the worst premonitions, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands :
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing this to you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice, even with all her piercings, tattoos, and her tight motorcycle clothes.
But it's not only the passon, Dad - she's pregnant and Joan said that we will be very happy. Even though you probably wouldn't care for her, as she is so much older than me, she owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood big enough for the whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me, and that's one of my dreams now, too.Joan taught me that marijuana really doesn't hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and to trade with her friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the time, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better. She sure deserves it !
Don't worry, Dad. I'm 16 years old now, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Your son,
John
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card which is in the center desk drawer. I love you! Please call me when it's safe for me to come home.
