A wife comes home early and finds her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.
"You are a disrespectful swine!" she cries. "How dare you do this to me - I'm a faithful wife, the mother of your beautiful children! I'm leaving you... I want a divorce right away!"
He quickly replies "Wait. Let me explain, I can tell you what really happened."
"Fine, go ahead," she sobs, "but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!"
So he explains, "Well, I was getting into my car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her get inside my car."
"I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed, and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for four days. So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments."
"Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a quick shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away in the bin. Then, as she needed clean clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they're too tight-fitted."
"I also gave her the underwear that was given as your birthday present, which you don't wear because you told me, I don't have good taste. I also found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated to her those boots you bought at the expensive 'Mark and Spencer' shop and don't wear because someone at workplace has a similar pair."
The husband takes a quick breath and continues, "She was so grateful for my being thoughtful, understanding, and assistance that as I walked her through the door, she turned to me with big tears in her lonely eyes and said, 'Please, Sir... Do you have anything else, that your wife doesn't use anymore...' "
