That Must be My Husband!

A couple was asleep when suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside. The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man, "Holy crap. That must be my husband!"

So the man jumped out of the bed, scared and naked, and proceeded to jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and then to his car.

A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, "I AM your husband!"

The woman yelled back, "Yeah, then why were you running?"

Best Friend

Suspecting her husband of infidelity, the woman attempted to put an end to it by arousing his jealousy.

"What would you say if I told you that I've been sleeping with your best friend?" she asked provocatively.

"Well," he mused, "I'd say that you're a lesbian."