He Had a Hat

A Jewish grandma is watching her grandchild play on the beach when a huge wave comes and takes him out to sea. She pleads, "Please God, save my only grandson. I beg of you, bring him back."

A big wave comes and washes the boy back onto the beach, good as new. She looks up to heaven and says, "He had a hat!"

Jewish vs Chinese

A Jew walks into a bar and sits down. He has a few drinks, then he sees a Chinese man and punches him in the face.

"Ouch!" the Chinese man says. "What was that for?"

"That was for Pearl Harbor," the Jew says.

"But I'm Chinese!"

"Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?"

And the Jew sits back down. Then, the Chinese walks up to the Jew and punches him in the face.

"Ouch!" the Jew says. "What was that for?"

"That was for the Titanic," the Chinese says.

"But that was an iceberg!"

"Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"

Two Beggars

Two beggars sit side by side on a street in Rome. One has a cross in front of him; the other one the Star of David. Many people pass by and look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross.

A priest comes by, stops and watches the people giving money to the beggar behind the cross, but none give to the other one. Finally, the priest goes over to the beggar behind the Star of David and says, "My poor fellow, don't you understand? This is a Catholic country, this city is the seed of Catholicism. People aren't going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you're sitting beside a beggar who has a cross. In fact, they would probably give to him just out of spite."

The beggar behind the 'Star of David' listened to the priest, turned to the other beggar with the cross and said, "Moishe, look who's trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing."