At 85 years of age, Roger married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old. Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together.
After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself for bed and the expected knock on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Roger, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one.
All goes well, Roger takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.
After a few minutes, Jenny hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Roger, Again he is ready for more 'action'.
Somewhat surprised, Jenny consents for more coupling. When the newlyweds are done, Roger kisses his bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves.
She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha you guessed it – Roger is back again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more action. And, once more they enjoy each other.
But as Roger gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, "I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Roger."
Roger, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Jenny and says, "You mean I was here already?"
The moral of the story: Don't be afraid of getting old, Alzheimer's has its advantages.
Showing posts with label Honeymoon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Honeymoon. Show all posts
Honeymoon Codes
A couple have three lovely daughters - Elaine, Ena & Ella. They were brought up in a prim-and-proper way and remained virgins until they all decided to get married at the same time.
The parents, concerned about their daughters' first-night experience, instructed them before they went on their respective honeymoons, "We want to know about your 1st night encounters and whether you are satisfied. Tell us, but as not to raise your husbands' curiosity use a code to describe your experiences."
So, the excited daughters were off. A week passed. The couple received an SMS text from Elaine. It simply said, "Standard Chartered." They immediately took the newspaper and looked for the Standard Chartered advertisement.
"Ah! Here it is!!!!" exclaimed the father, "The motto for Standard Chartered is... BIG, STRONG & FRIENDLY." They were were happy.
The following week, they received a SMS text came from Ena. It read "Nescafe." Again the couple scanned the newspaper finally they saw a Nescafe ad. It read "Nescafe: Pleasure till the Last Drop." The couple jumped for joy.
They waited for the Ella's SMS text to come. A week passed. Nothing. Another week passed. Again nothing. Finally two more weeks passed and her SMS text finally came in. It simply read, "PAL."
The couple was confused and couldn't figure it out. So they decided to wait for a second SMS text. But one week passed and nothing came. Then one night, the father was reading the newspaper when it came across an ad for Philippine Airlines. It read PAL - 7 times a week. 4 to 6 times a day. Non-Stop."
He fell off his chair.
The parents, concerned about their daughters' first-night experience, instructed them before they went on their respective honeymoons, "We want to know about your 1st night encounters and whether you are satisfied. Tell us, but as not to raise your husbands' curiosity use a code to describe your experiences."
So, the excited daughters were off. A week passed. The couple received an SMS text from Elaine. It simply said, "Standard Chartered." They immediately took the newspaper and looked for the Standard Chartered advertisement.
"Ah! Here it is!!!!" exclaimed the father, "The motto for Standard Chartered is... BIG, STRONG & FRIENDLY." They were were happy.
The following week, they received a SMS text came from Ena. It read "Nescafe." Again the couple scanned the newspaper finally they saw a Nescafe ad. It read "Nescafe: Pleasure till the Last Drop." The couple jumped for joy.
They waited for the Ella's SMS text to come. A week passed. Nothing. Another week passed. Again nothing. Finally two more weeks passed and her SMS text finally came in. It simply read, "PAL."
The couple was confused and couldn't figure it out. So they decided to wait for a second SMS text. But one week passed and nothing came. Then one night, the father was reading the newspaper when it came across an ad for Philippine Airlines. It read PAL - 7 times a week. 4 to 6 times a day. Non-Stop."
He fell off his chair.
Escaped Prisoner
On their honeymoon night, a bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetie. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner." So what we do is: put the prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the first time. Afterwards, the guy laid down on the bed, smiling with satisfaction. Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiled, and said, "Then we will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time, the guy reached for his cigarettes but the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience, gave him a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rose to the occasion for the third time, but now with the unsteady legs of a recently born foal.
Afterwards, he laid back on the bed, totally exhausted. She nudged him and said, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."
Limply turning his head, He yelled at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence, OKAY!"
"OK, Sweetie. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner." So what we do is: put the prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the first time. Afterwards, the guy laid down on the bed, smiling with satisfaction. Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiled, and said, "Then we will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time, the guy reached for his cigarettes but the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience, gave him a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rose to the occasion for the third time, but now with the unsteady legs of a recently born foal.
Afterwards, he laid back on the bed, totally exhausted. She nudged him and said, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."
Limply turning his head, He yelled at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence, OKAY!"
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