New CEO

A large company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO, who promptly decided to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning on a wall.
The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business, so he walked up to the guy and asked, 'How much money do you make a week?

A little surprised, the young man looked at him and replied, "I make $400 a week. Why?"

The CEO then handed the guy $1,600 in cash and screamed, "Here's four weeks' pay, now GET OUT and don't come back."

Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the room and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did around here?"

From across the room came a voice, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's."

A Blonde at the Office

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early. "Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know."

So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time.

"That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime."

"No way," says the blonde, "I almost got caught."

Management

A company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hires a new CEO. The new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers.

On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he wants to let them know he means business!

The CEO walks up to the guy and asks, "And how much money do you make a week?"

Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make $200.00 a week."

The CEO hands the guy $200 in cash and screams, "Here's a week's pay, now GET OUT!"

Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?"

With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters, "Pizza delivery guy."

Office Party

John woke up after the annual office New Year's Eve party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding night. After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.

"Dear," he moaned, "tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?"

"Even worse," she said, her voice oozing scorn, "You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors, and you insulted the company president, right to his face."

"He's an idiot," John said, "Piss on him."

"You did," came the reply, "And he fired you."

"Well, screw him!"

"I did. You're back to work on Monday."

Think!

In the men's room at work, the Boss had placed a sign directly above the sink. It had a single word on it - "Think!"

The next day, when he went to the men's room, he looked at the sign and right below, immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign which reads - "Thoap!"