An old nun who was living in a convent next to a construction site noticed the coarse language of the workers and decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways. She decided she would take her lunch, sit with the workers and talk with them. She put her sandwich in a brown bag and walked over to the spot where the men were eating. She walked up to the group and with a big smile, asked, "Do you men know Jesus Christ?"
They shook their heads and looked at each other very confused. One of the workers looked up into the steelworks and yelled out, "Anybody up there know Jesus Christ?"
One of the steelworkers yelled down, "Why?"
The worker yelled back, "Cos his wife's here with his lunch"
Showing posts with label Jesus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jesus. Show all posts
Jesus Saves
Jesus and Satan were having an argument about who was more computer savvy between the two of them. They had been going at it for days, and frankly Jesus was tired of hearing all the bickering.
Finally Jesus said, "That's it! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job." Satan agreed. So they sat down at the keyboards and typed away.
They moused.
They e-mailed.
They googled.
They downloaded.
They did spreadsheets.
They photoshopped.
They wrote reports.
They created labels and cards.
They even twittered.
They did some genealogy reports.
They did every job known to man.
Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell.
Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off.
Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld.
Jesus just sighed.
Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming, "It's gone! It's all GONE! I lost everything when the power went out!"
Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work.
Satan observed this and became irate. "Wait!" he screamed, "That's not fair! You cheated! How come you have all your work and I don't have any?"
Jesus just shrugged and said, "JESUS SAVES!!!"
Finally Jesus said, "That's it! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job." Satan agreed. So they sat down at the keyboards and typed away.
They moused.
They e-mailed.
They googled.
They downloaded.
They did spreadsheets.
They photoshopped.
They wrote reports.
They created labels and cards.
They even twittered.
They did some genealogy reports.
They did every job known to man.
Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell.
Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off.
Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld.
Jesus just sighed.
Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming, "It's gone! It's all GONE! I lost everything when the power went out!"
Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work.
Satan observed this and became irate. "Wait!" he screamed, "That's not fair! You cheated! How come you have all your work and I don't have any?"
Jesus just shrugged and said, "JESUS SAVES!!!"
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