Ghosts

A professor is giving a lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: “How many people here believe in ghosts?” About 80 students raise their hands.

"Well that’s a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you’ve ever seen a ghost?" 35 students raise their hands.

"That’s really good. Now has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?" 15 students raise their hands.

"That’s a great response. Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?" 4 students raise their hands.

"That’s fantastic. But let me ask you one question further. Has any of you ever made love to a ghost?" One student in a flannel shirt and baseball cap way in the back raises his hand. The professor is astonished. He takes off his glasses, takes a step back, and says,

"Son, in all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghost. You’ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience."

The redneck student complies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor says, "Well, tell us what it’s like to have sex with a ghost."

The student replies, "Ghost?!? Sheeyit. From baaack there it sounded like you said 'goats!'"

Nature’s Secrets

One morning, the chief of a tribe dragging his wife and her white baby confronted Father Joseph, a white missionary. Angrily, the chief said, ”Hey, Fr Joseph! Me very upset. Me already have 10 children. All black. Now 11th baby born and is white! You only white man in 200 kilometers! You explain to me!”

Surprised, Fr Joseph said, “ Eeeehm…no hasty conclusions please. Nature is unfathomable!”

Then pointing to a group of white goats with one black kid amongst them, he said to the chief, “See, all goats are white. Only God knows why sometimes a black goat is borne! These are the secrets of nature. You have to accept them without understanding.”

Upon hearing this, the chief pulled Fr Joseph away from his wife and whispered, “Me understand now. Me will be quiet about white baby...and you will be quiet about black goat, okay?”