In Three Words

In a bar, a man meets a hooker who tells him, "This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words."

The guy thinks it over and replies, "Hey, why not?"

He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly, "Paint...my…house."

New Hooker

A new hooker had just finished her first trick. When she came back to the street, the seasoned veterans all gathered around to hear the details.

She said, "Well, he was a big, muscular and handsome hunk."

"Well? What did he want to do?" they all asked.

She said, "I told him that a straight lay was Thousand bucks, but he said he did not have that much. So, I told him a blow job would be 750 bucks, but he did not have that much either. Finally I said, 'Well how much do you have?'

The guy said he only had 250. So, I told him, 'For 250, all I can give you is a hand job.' He agreed and after getting the finances straight, he pulled it out. I put one hand on it. Then, I put the other hand above that one."

She paused, raised her eyebrows, and then continues, "Then I put the first hand above the second hand..."

"Oh my God!" they all exclaimed, "it must have been huge!"

"Then what did you do?"

"I loaned him 750 bucks!"