Confident Private

"All you idiots, fall out!" yelled the sergeant at his soldiers standing in formation. As the rest of the squad dispersed, one soldier remained firmly at attention. The sergeant noticed him, stalked over and raised a single eyebrow.

The private grinned and said, "Sure was a lot of them, huh, sir?"

Insurance Sales Pitch

Airman Smith was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance.

It wasn't long before the Captain noticed that Airman Smith had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before. Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Smith's sales pitch, which went like this:

"If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don't have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6000."

"Now, who do you think they are going to send into battle first?"

That's It.

A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, "That's not it" and put it down again.

This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army.

The soldier picked it up, smiled and said, "That's it."