Parking a Dog

A man pulled into the crowded parking lot at a big shopping center and then rolled down the car windows to make sure his pet dog would have fresh air. The dog was fully stretched out on the back seat.

Wanting to impress upon his pet that she must remain there, he walked to the curb backward, pointing a finger at the car and emphatically commanded, "Stay. Do you hear me? Stay!"

At the point, the driver of a nearby car, a pretty blonde, gave him a strange look and asked, "Why don't you just put it in park?"

Forgive us our trespasses

A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses."

When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation."

Parking Tickets Galore

I went to the shop the other day, I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out there was a traffic cop writing a parking ticket.

So I went up to him and said, "Come on mate, I was only in there 3 minutes" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.

So I called him a pencil necked nazi. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires!!

So I called him a horse ****. He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!!!

This went on for about 20 minutes, the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't give a damn. My car was parked around the corner.