During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question, "Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"
Michael thought for a moment and said, "Just a minute I have to go pee."
The teacher said, "That would be rude and impolite. What about you, Sherman, how would you say it?"
Sherman answered, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."
"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?"
Little Johnny said "I would say. 'Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner.'"
The teacher fainted...
Showing posts with label Little Johnny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Little Johnny. Show all posts
Falling into the Well
The class assignment in composition was to write about something unusual that happened recently. Little Johnny was called to read his.
"Papa fell in the well last week - " he began.
"Good heavens," shrieked the teacher. "Is he all right now?"
"He must be," said Little Johnny. "He stopped yelling for help yesterday."
"Papa fell in the well last week - " he began.
"Good heavens," shrieked the teacher. "Is he all right now?"
"He must be," said Little Johnny. "He stopped yelling for help yesterday."
A Loaf of Bread
Little Johnny is walking down the street swinging a loaf of bread in one hand and the other hand in his pants pocket.
Along come the parish priest and he thinks to himself, "This is a good opportunity to say something from the bible to Little Johnny."
He walks up to Little Johnny and says, "I see Little Johnny that you have the Staff of Life in one hand. What do you have in the other?"
Little Johnny replies, "A loaf of bread, Father."
Along come the parish priest and he thinks to himself, "This is a good opportunity to say something from the bible to Little Johnny."
He walks up to Little Johnny and says, "I see Little Johnny that you have the Staff of Life in one hand. What do you have in the other?"
Little Johnny replies, "A loaf of bread, Father."
Little Johnny's Question
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"
She calls on Little Johnny. He replies, "None, they all fly away with the first gun shot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."
Then Little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone?"
To which Little Johnny replies, "The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking."
She calls on Little Johnny. He replies, "None, they all fly away with the first gun shot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."
Then Little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone?"
To which Little Johnny replies, "The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking."
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