During a visit to the mental asylum, a government official asked the Director, "How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized."
"Well, we fill up a bathtub then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub," replied the Director.
"Oh, I understand," the official said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No," said the Director. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
Showing posts with label Mental Institutions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mental Institutions. Show all posts
Hole In The Fence
A man is walking past a big wooden fence at the insane asylum when he hears all the residents inside chanting, "Fifteen! Fifteen! Fifteen!"
His curiosity getting the better of him, he finds a hole in the fence, and looks in. Suddenly someone inside pokes him in the eye. Then everyone inside the asylum starts chanting, "Sixteen! Sixteen! Sixteen!
His curiosity getting the better of him, he finds a hole in the fence, and looks in. Suddenly someone inside pokes him in the eye. Then everyone inside the asylum starts chanting, "Sixteen! Sixteen! Sixteen!
Do You Have The Time
A man is walking past a mental institution when he suddenly remembers an important meeting. As he does not have a watch he cannot tell if he is late or not. But he notices a patient nearby and called to him, "Pardon me, sir, but do you have the time?"
The patient answers, "One moment!" and throws himself on the ground, pulling out a short stick as he does. He pushes the stick into the ground, and, pulling out a carpenter's level, assures himself that the stick is vertical. Then with a compass, he locates north and with a steel ruler, measures the precise length of the shadow cast by the stick. Withdrawing a slide rule from his pocket, the patient calculates rapidly, then swiftly packs up all his tools and turns back to the man, "It is now precisely 2:49 pm, provided today is April 26th, which I believe it is."
The man can't help but be impressed by this demonstration but at the same time, he was curious, "That was really quite remarkable, but tell me, what do you do on a cloudy day, or at night, when the stick casts no shadow?"
The patient holds up his wrist and says, "I suppose I'd just look at my watch."
The patient answers, "One moment!" and throws himself on the ground, pulling out a short stick as he does. He pushes the stick into the ground, and, pulling out a carpenter's level, assures himself that the stick is vertical. Then with a compass, he locates north and with a steel ruler, measures the precise length of the shadow cast by the stick. Withdrawing a slide rule from his pocket, the patient calculates rapidly, then swiftly packs up all his tools and turns back to the man, "It is now precisely 2:49 pm, provided today is April 26th, which I believe it is."
The man can't help but be impressed by this demonstration but at the same time, he was curious, "That was really quite remarkable, but tell me, what do you do on a cloudy day, or at night, when the stick casts no shadow?"
The patient holds up his wrist and says, "I suppose I'd just look at my watch."
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