Jewish vs Chinese

A Jew walks into a bar and sits down. He has a few drinks, then he sees a Chinese man and punches him in the face.

"Ouch!" the Chinese man says. "What was that for?"

"That was for Pearl Harbor," the Jew says.

"But I'm Chinese!"

"Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?"

And the Jew sits back down. Then, the Chinese walks up to the Jew and punches him in the face.

"Ouch!" the Jew says. "What was that for?"

"That was for the Titanic," the Chinese says.

"But that was an iceberg!"

"Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"

The Chinese Workman

A building contractor hires an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Chinese. He gathers them all in his office and tells each of them their jobs. The Englishman is to shovel a pile of sand. The Irishman has to take the sand in the wheelbarrow to the truck. The Chinese is in charge of supplies.

The boss comes back two hours later and he sees the Englishman and the Irishman having a cup of tea. "So have you done the work then?" he asks.

The workers both shake their heads and tell him that the Chinese guy didn't give them a shovel or a wheelbarrow. The boss is infuriated by this and asks the workers if they have seen the Chinese, they tell him they thought they saw him going toward the truck. So the boss sets out towards the truck and just as he is getting close to the truck the Chinese jumps out from behind a wall and yells, "SUPPLIES!"

Learn Chinese in 5 Minutes

That's not right...
Sum Ting Wong

Are you harboring a fugitive?...
Hu Yu Hai Ding?

See me ASAP...
Kum Hia Nao

Stupid Man...
Dum Gai

Small Horse...
Tai Ni Po Ni

Did you go to the beach?...
Wai Yu So Tan?

I bumped into a coffee table...
Ai Bang Mai Ni

I think you need a face lift...
Chin Tu Fat

It's very dark in here...
Wai So Dim?

I thought you were on a diet...
Wai Yu Mun Ching?

This is a tow away zone...
No Pah King

Our meeting is scheduled for tomorrow...
Wai Yu Kum Nao?

Staying out of sight...
Lei Ying Lo

He's cleaning his car...
Wa Shing Ka

Your body odor is offensive...
Yu Stin Ki Pu

Learn Chinese the Easy Way

I think you need a face lift...
Chin Tu Fat

That's not right...
Sum Ting Wong

Are you harboring a fugitive?...
Hu Yu Hai Ding?

See me ASAP...
Kum Hia Nao

Stupid Man...
Dum Gai

Small Horse...
Tai Ni Po Ni

He's cleaning his automobile...
Wa Shing Ka

Did you go to the beach?...
Wai Yu So Tan?

I bumped into a coffee table...
Ai Bang Mai Ni

Our meeting is scheduled for next week...
Wai Yu Kum Nao?

Staying out of sight...
Lei Ying Lo

I thought you were on a diet...
Wai Yu Mun Ching?

This is a tow away zone...
No Pah King

Your body odor is offensive...
Yu Stin Ki Pu

It's very dark in here...
Wai So Dim?