Nothing to Worry

The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned about her daughter having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor.

The doctor told her teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then suggested to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then talk to her and give her some condoms.

Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the mother told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.

The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother saying, "Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!"

Lesbian

A country lad comes to the big city. He sits down at the bar and sees a real beauty sitting at the other end. He tells the bartender to get a drink for her.

"Don't bother dude, she's a lesbian."

"I don't care!" says the lad, "Gimme the drink and I'll take it over myself..."

So the lad slides up and sits down next to the lady and says, "So babe, what part of Lesbia are you from?"