Farting to Music

Maegan was in a restaurant on a blind date when she realized she desperately needed to break wind. The sound system happened to be very loud so she decided to coincide with the beat of the music. After that she felt fine but then she noticed everyone to be staring at her. That's when she remembered she was listening to her iPod.

Get away from her

A woman was meeting her boyfriend's family for the first time and she was very nervous. At the house, they all sat down and begin eating dinner. After awhile, she began to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains were almost making her eyes water. Left with no choice, she decided to relieve herself a bit and let out a dainty little fart.

It wasn’t loud, but everyone at the table heard it. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend’s father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the woman’s feet, and said in a rather stern voice, "Ginger!"

The woman thought, "This is great!"

A big smile came across her face. A couple minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn’t even hesitated. She let a much louder and longer fart rip.

The father again looked at the dog and yelled, "Dammit Ginger!"

Once again the woman smiled and thought, "Yes!"

A few minutes later the woman had to let another one rip. This time she didn’t even think about it. She let rip with a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing.

Again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "Damn it Ginger, get away from her before she shits on you!"

Shopping at Tiffany's

Gidget walks into Tiffany's and spots a beautiful bracelet. As she bends over to look closely, she suddenly lets out a loud fart. She looks around nervously to see if any heard it. As she turns around, she discovers her worst nightmare of a salesman standing right behind her, looking cool and displaying complete professionalism.

She looks at her and offers, "Good Day Ma'am. How may I help you?"

Very uncomfortably but hoping he had not heard her accident, she asked, "Sir What is the price of this bracelet?"

He calmly replies, "Ma'am, if you farted just looking at it, you are going to shit when I tell you the price."

Listening to Your iPod.

You are on the bus when you suddenly realize you need to fart. The music is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat. After a couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your stop.

As you are leaving the bus, people are really staring you down, and that's when you realize, you have been listening to your iPod.