Man's Best Friend

A dog is truly a man's best friend. If you don't believe it, try this simple experiment...
Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of your car for an hour.....

When you open the trunk, see who is happiest to see you!

A Hot Blonde

One hot summer day, a blonde came to town with her dog, tied it under the shade of a tree, and headed into a restaurant for something cold to drink.

Twenty minutes later, a policeman entered the restaurant and asked, "Who owns the dog tie under that tree outside?"

The blonde said it was hers.

"Your dog seems to be in heat," the officer said.

The blonde replied, "No way. She's cool 'cause she's tied up under that shade tree."

The policeman said, "No! You don't understand. Your dog needs to be bred."

"No way," said the blonde. "My dog doesn't need bread. She isn't hungry 'cause I fed her this morning."

The exasperated policeman said, "NO! You don't understand. Your dog wants to have sex!"

The blonde looked at the cop and said, "Well, go ahead. I always wanted a police dog."

The Dog

Once an old, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of.

He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head; he then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.

An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.

The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour. This continued off and on for several weeks.

Curious I pinned a note to his collar: "I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap."

The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar: "He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3 - he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?"

Sniffer

A man boards a flight and finds himself seated next to a Labrador Retriever and its trainer. As the man looks at the Lab seated in the middle, the trainer explains that they work for the airline, saying, "Don't mind Sniffer. He's a sniffing dog, the best there is. I'll show you once we get airborne when I put him to work."

The plane takes off and levels out when the trainer tells the first man, "Watch this."

He then orders the dog, "Sniffer, search."

Sniffer jumps down, walks along the aisle, and sits next to a woman for a few seconds. It then returns to its seat and puts one paw on the trainer's arm.

He says, "Good boy," then turns to the first man and says, "That woman is in
possession of marijuana, so I'm making a note of this and her seat number for the police who will apprehend her upon arrival."

"Fantastic!" replies the passenger.

Once again, he sends Sniffer to search the aisles.

The Lab sniffs about, sits down beside a man for a few seconds, returns to its seat, and places two paws on the trainer's arm, who explains, "That man is carrying cocaine. So, again, I'm making a note of this and the seat number."

"Impressive!"

Then the trainer orders Sniffer to search again. Sniffer goes up and down the plane and, after a while, sits down next to someone. He then comes racing back, jumps up onto his seat, and poops all over the place.

The passenger is really grossed out by this behavior from a supposedly well-trained sniffing dog and asks, "What's going on?"

The trainer nervously replies, "He just found a bomb..."